An answer to prayers on Christmas

One of the things that always surprises me about God is how He hears everything we say or think in our hearts. Even when it isn’t our typically worded prayer asking for something. It really shouldn’t surprise me at all but it always does. I wrote a blog last Tuesday after I had read another friends blog. During this time I was just really convicted about what things I spent most of my time thinking about. I’m constantly surprised at how easy it is to become so selfish and only think of ourselves. We seem to easily forget the hungry, poor, hurting and orphans, and I am probably one of the guiltiest of this. How often do I really go about my everyday remembering to pray for others and think of them rather than thinking of the next thing I’m going to do for myself? Unfortunately I would have to say not often. However, last week I was so convicted that I might forget the orphans during the holidays. I even wrote a blog about it. I suspected that maybe I’d remember them briefly during the holidays because I was so convicted about it but I had no idea the way God would answer this plea from my heart.

Christmas around Shale and I typically takes place like this. The day before Christmas we go to my parents house. We stay the night there and celebrate Christmas with them and my sisters and their families early Christmas morning. Then later that afternoon we drive to Shale’s parents’ house and celebrate Christmas there with his family. This Christmas while we were opening presents with my family Shale got a phone call and immediately jumped up and went outside to answer it (I have to admit at the time I was thinking to myself that this was pretty rude). However after we finished presents with my family I was in the kitchen getting some coffee when Shale came in and told me that our friend Joe (name protected due to nature of missions work) in India had called. He was calling to wish us a merry Christmas and thank us for our friendship. He talked to Shale a while and then told him that the day before he had visited an orphanage. While he was talking to some of the kids he told them about me and how much God was growing a passion for orphans in my heart. The kids then said they wanted to stop what they were doing and pray for me! I couldn’t believe that!!! Here I was thousands of miles away wondering if I would even remember them on Christmas and they were praying for me!!!! These children who have absolutely nothing and no one in the middle of one of the most persecuted countries stopped what they were doing to pray for me just because I was starting to have a passion for them. Well as you can guess I didn’t forget the orphans this Christmas, actually I cried for them, on Christmas morning. I wept because in their simplicity of life somehow their love for me was demonstrated far more than mine for them, all because of a simple prayer.

This reminded me of a verse that I always think of when I remember orphans.
 
For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in. Psalm 27:10
 
I always think of this verse because I imagine this is how an orphan must feel when they come to know Christ. Such a beautiful picture, but one that is quickly marred by this verse…
 
For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!" Romans 10:13-15
 
How will they know if we don’t go? How can we sit by and say we aren’t called to go? Do these verses not convict us enough? Are the words of Christ “go and make disciples” optional? How many more are out there that don’t even know to pray for anyone because they have no idea of a love like His? What is my part in all this? That’s the question I try to ask myself daily. Lord, may my heart never become hardened to those who do not know you. May I always be sensitive to the lost and hurting. May my heart and mouth constantly go and spread your love always, till I am unable to go for you anymore.

Do I cry?

Cry: to weep; shed tears, with or without sound; to call loudly; to demand resolution or strongly indicate a particular disposition
  
If that's what cry means that what do I really cry for?  What do I weep for, call loudly to God for and demand resolution for?


Do I weep for the child whose feet never cut because they are so hardened to the ground because they have no concept of what shoes are?
Or do I not even think to think about that while I go about my daily activities in my favorite sandals?


Do I shed tears for the 5 year old boy who will sleep under the streets of Moscow next to pipes for warmth?
Or do I complain when the sunny Florida temperatures drop below 50 and I have to turn on the heat?


Do I beg for someone to rescue the 8 year old girl who has been sold into human trafficking with a man 5 times her age?
Or do I flip the channel so I don't have to hear the story again?


Do I call out to God for the child who has bounced around in foster care their whole life and can't even begin to understand what love means, and even more what unconditional love of a savior would mean?
Or do I continue to fight with my bitterness towards someone because I don't feel like showing them love again?


Does my heart scream out prayers to God for the boy who has been taken captive as a child soldier because both parents have been lost to Aids?
Or do I spend more time watching my favorite TV show than I ever will thinking of them?


Do I disssolve in tears for the child who is sniffing glue right now so that they might feel full because they do not know whether they will eat today?
Or do I care more about utilizing my lunch break to be able to go to that specific restaurant?


Does my heart break for the special needs orphan that is tied down to a bed right now because there are not enough workers to watch her?
Or do I complain about how my life is too busy to have "me time"?

Do I spend time really greiving for and praying for the child who will never have a family because we won't open our homes?
Or do I spend more time following my friends Facebook feeds about their families?


Do I really care more about the orphan, the fatherless, the widow, the soujourner, the hungry, the poor, the downtrodden, the afficted, the weak?  Do I really care more about Jesus?
Or do I care more about my time, my job, my money, my car, my food, my friends, my family, my "knowledge", my fun, my life.


Do I really cry for the orphan?
Or do I care more about myself?


Matthew 25: 31-45 The Message Version
"When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left.  "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:  I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me.'  "Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.'  "Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left, and say, 'Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because - I was hungry and you gave me no meal, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was homeless and you gave me no bed, I was shivering and you gave me no clothes, Sick and in prison, and you never visited.'  "Then those 'goats' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?'  "He will answer them, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.'



When Jesus was in the garden and He was praying so hard that He sweat drops of blood do you think He left these children out?  Do you think He was just praying for me and you?  Why did He mention them so much?  Why do I (and most of American Christians) feel it is an "optional calling" to help the orphan?  Why do I take His commands as suggestions?  Why do I elevate my desires above His desires?


This Christmas will I forget about them?  Will I spend all my time consumed in Christmas presents, food and fun or will I remember the orphan?  When I'm going to sleep on Christmas eve will I dream about the fun times tomorrow or will I dream of the child who has no tomorrow?


The conviction is unsettling...

Twisted Expectations

Jackie's House 3 newly orphaned babies

Well as you may know if you’re friends with me personally I just went on my first out of the country mission trip last week during thanksgiving. I’ve been out of the country before now but this was the first time I went with the sole purpose of doing “mission work”. It was also the first trip that I would go on where I would be specifically helping orphans the entire time. It was definitely a trip that God provided for. Back in January the college age girls class I lead started praying that God would show them something they could do that they would know God was behind them 100% and that’s how we ended up in the Dominican Republic for Thanksgiving. (The story is actually really amazing how God directed and provided, you can read more about it here: http://ourheartspassion.blogspot.com/2010/11/in-years-time.html) However, for me personally I had no clue how God was about to use this trip. I had expectations for sure. I knew my passion was orphans and I was excited about this opportunity. I was so glad that I could finally stop just reading and dreaming about helping, I could go help. However, I had no idea that God was going to use this trip to reveal a bigger purpose to me. 

One of my favorites

You see the trip didn’t turn out like I would have wanted it to. I was completely expecting to go over there and realize this is what I’m supposed to do. I thought maybe this was God’s way of leading me to start setting up my life and job so that I could have more time off to do short term missions, but it wasn’t. To make matters even more confusing I realized it wasn’t what I was supposed to do the 2nd day we were there. I was completely confused. I couldn’t even really process what this meant. While we were visiting a handicapped orphanage, Jackie’s House, and an all girls orphanage I was contemplating. The girls would get back in the van afterwards and feel heartbroken and accomplished at the same time, little did they know I was sitting there questioning and contemplating why I felt so numb. I had prepared myself! I had read every verse in the bible that mentioned the orphaned and fatherless, I had read books about orphans, and I had prayed so hard for this trip. Why did I feel so empty and numb? It was something I couldn’t figure out the entire trip, in fact I wasn’t able to process it until about 2 days after we got back. Don’t get me wrong the trip was great and I would do it again in a heartbeat but something was missing.

Sunday and Monday (our first two days back) were so hard for me, but not in the same way it was for the other girls. When everyone was asking how the trip was the girls said they were fighting back tears because they didn’t know how to explain how much they missed the kids. I on the other hand was praying that no one would ask me how it went, I didn’t know what to say except “it wasn’t what I expected”. I spent so much of Monday in prayer pleading with God to explain. I feel now that He is beginning to open my eyes to the explanations which is why I wanted to write this blog. I am the type of person who loves helping others, but I love knowing that I made an impact on their lives. I don’t like feeling like I may have made things worse, and that’s exactly how I felt on this trip. I’ve learned enough about foster kids to understand some of the patterns of attachment, and I felt as if I worsened the attachment for these children. I was so numb because I felt so selfish. I felt like I went because it is what I’m commanded to do and it is what I’m passionate about. We visited these children and loved on them for a day and then left them, just like their moms, just like their dads, just like everyone else. I kept asking myself how that was helping them.

They all just wanted love

This is where God stepped in and started answering my questions. His answer was twofold. First He allowed me to realize that this trip was a necessary part of my future and spiritual journey. Had I not gone on this trip I wouldn’t have realized that it was not what I wanted to do. I may have spent countless time and hours praying for something that wasn’t His purpose for me. It also allowed me to realize that I do want to help orphans, however, I want to invest in them. I don’t want to leave them as so many have, instead I want to love them, care for them, and teach them how to love back and that takes dedicated time rather than sporadic trips. I realized that there are so many people that God has called some to shorter trips and I’m so thankful for that because it lifts the burden of me feeling like I need to do it anyway. I have to realize though that He has called me to something else. The second part of His answer came in an unexpected way. I was driving to work this morning and listening to Christmas music and heard the song Do You Hear What I Hear and something stood out to me that I hadn’t noticed before. In the chorus it talks about Jesus shivering in the cold and the wisemen bringing him silver and gold. This got me thinking about the Christmas story and how the wisemen brought Jesus gold, frankincense and myrrh.

When they saw the star, they were overjoyed. On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Matt. 2:10-11

However, I realized this morning that the bible never tells you what happened with those gifts. It’s not like the bible says the wisemen brought Jesus gold, frankincense and myrrh and this helped fund his ministry and help him financially. It never mentions it again. This reminded me of a lesson God has been teaching me over the last 2 years. God doesn’t ask us to do things with the focus on the end result, He asks us to do it out of obedience. This has been a huge lesson for me. It has taught me not to look at the homeless man and wonder if the food I’m going to give him is going to help him go spend his money on drugs and alcohol, but rather look at him with the same sympathy that Christ would and give anyway not worrying of the results. This makes so much more sense when I think about the verse in Matthew where Christ says what you do to the least of these you do to me.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you? “The King will reply,‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matt 25:34-40

The wisemen brought Him gifts because He was the king, holy and worthy of all they could afford to give. If I truly think of the homeless man as “doing unto Christ” how can I not want to give of my time, money and resources? It hit me this morning that this was also true of my trip to the orphanages. I am called in the bible to care for the orphan, widow and sojourner. I realized on this trip that it wasn’t how I wanted to help the orphan long term but I also learned a lesson in obedience. I heard God’s call through His word and I did my best to listen and follow, now the end results are up to Him. This time around it was a much more heartbreaking obedience but none compared to the heartbreaking sacrifice He has given for me. 

I think I left a piece of my heart...