I will not leave you...

As you may know during Thanksgiving I took a group of college age girls to the Dominican Republic to go on a missions trip.  You can read more about the trip here.  Before this trip we would meet weekly to go over verses in the Bible that discussed orphans.  During one of these bible studies I shared with the girls something God had laid on my heart.  I had been driving to church one Sunday and heard the song "Jesus Paid It All".
The song is below in case you can't remember the words.

 

I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

Lord now indeed I find
Thy power and Thine alone
Can change the lepers spots
And melt the heart of stone

Jesus paid it all
All to Him I owe;
My sin had left this crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
"Jesus died my soul to save,"
My lips shall still repeat

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

O praise the One who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead

We’ll praise the One who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead

Now before this I typically thought of this song, and especially the first verse, as regarding temptation.  But for some reason this morning God had a different lesson to teach me.  See over the past 2 years God has put a passion on my heart for orphans but I am still unaware of how or why I have this passion.  I'm not sure God's plans for it all I know is I am burdened by it.  When I was driving that morning God showed me that the first verse was talking about me.  He knows my strength is small.  He knows it would be hard for me to just jump into orphan care and start an orphanage, or raise awareness.  However, this song talks about watching and praying.  Watching and knowing the orphan crisis and praying that God would lead me in His way.  I shared this with those girls that night at the Bible study as a demonstration of what our prayer life should look like.

One of the girls on the trip (Kasey) was a worship leader and she informed me that she had learned the song "Jesus Paid It All" specifically for the trip. She had brought her guitar and took it with us to many of the orphanages.  When we went to the first orphanage though I was so thankful for her and this song.  The first orphanage was a special needs orphanage, and I don't mean your typical special needs orphanage.  These kids could not speak one coherent word and were tied down to their beds with sheets that looked like they were seldom changed.  The ages of the kids ranged from infants to young 20's.  When we got there we were told that some of the boys had gotten into a fight and were placed in detention.  The best way to describe detention is a "large cell".  There was a section of the room that was blocked off by metal bars.  When we walked in you could see us all stop short, not knowing where to go first.  The kids for the most part were babbling incoherent sounds and I could tell the girls were just as uncomfortable as I was.  However, Kasey being the champ that she is went to the bus and grabbed her guitar and came back in and sat down in front of the cell of boys.  The boys were being so rowdy jumping from place to place and pushing each other while making screeching noises.  However, after a few minutes they had all come over and sat as close to the bars next to Kasey as they could.  She began singing Jesus Paid It All.  I watched as these full grown boys calmed down and sat down while she sang.  Some clapped and others just sat completely captivated by her song.  It was such a beautiful picture.

Last night at our college ministry's weekly service we sang "Jesus Paid It All".  I sat there singing with tears streaming down my cheeks remembering the last time I had heard this song.  A few minutes after we finished singing a verse came to my mind. 

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18

The above verse is so convicting for me. I know that it is regarding Christ sending His Holy Spirit but what about when I think about looking like Christ. If Christ loved us so much that He would adopt us as sons and daughters (2 Cor.6:18) then how should I exemplify that in my own life. If I say I want to be like Christ I must mean in all of his attributes and not just some.  If in all of his attributes then what about in regards to John 14:18.  I want so badly to be this verse to so many.  I hate when I hear things like "If you took all of the aprox 143 million orphans in the world and had them stand in a a single file line it would wrap around earth 2 times".  Why is the Christian world so overwhelmingly silent when it comes to orphans?  Why do we struggle so much with doing something we are commanded to do?  It is estimated that approximately 76% of America considers itself Christian (wikipedia.com) if this is true that means there are ~236,231,699 Christians just in America alone.  If this is true then why is the orphan crisis so widespread?  If all Christians are called to care for orphans in some way, shape, or form it doesn't make sense that we have almost twice as many Christians in America as we do orphans.  I've really been struggling with this thought today.  Why aren't we, as the church and including myself, taking in orphans?  Why do we sit back and do nothing?  When will we get to the point where we are motivated enough to do something?  What does it take?  I'm so convicted because I am one of these!  Is God's command not enough to make me do something?  Do I need more time, money, space, etc...?  Or am I just looking for another excuse to get me out of being uncomfortable?

Wrestling with my thoughts today....